1st Keg Stand and More

These past few weeks have been pretty interesting.  I had my first strip club experience.  We did it in the right fashion.  We suited up and hit up the bar next door.  Then we bounced back and forth between the two and goofed around at both.  Though the night ended awkwardly and we crashed at Jeff's house.  Nico passed out first with his shoes on, so of course I drew on him.  The following week I passed my Security + and celebrated Friday night by going out to a few bars and then back to Flo's apartment.  There I drank until 3 in the morning with those guys and Nico passed out at 9 with his shoes on.  As a result I drew on him again.  That Saturday (this past Saturday) was May's Halloween house party.  I didn't have anything to go as, so I grabbed my snowboard and snow-suited up for the party.  They had a keg and jello-shots that were attached to a doctor jacket.  Needless to say I got smashed.  By the end of the night I performed my first keg-stand and proved an A.D.D. asshole to many people.  Worth it.


Towards my future:  I submitted my certs to Kaplan.  CCNA knocked out two classes with six credits each.  Net + took out a five credit class.  I think Sec + should count towards something, but it doesn't.  A+ would take out another five credit class, but I doubt I'll get it.  At least Net+ and Sec+ are life certs.  I'm at 89/195 credits.  In one year I have taken care of almost half of my education.


Home:  I definitely miss people, but I don't want to go back to Michigan.  I feel like I kinda left that life behind me.


Living after the USMC: I am thinking about Seattle, Chicago, Baltimore, or out of country - Calgary.


One of the best lines a movie can relate to my life and how I've always handled myself: "I decided to never invest too much emotion in one thing. It's always a set-up to the pain of losing them." - Domino


Moving on:  No matter what I do, I just can't get over her.  When the memories of good times come back I try and remember the bad times too.  Then I think about what I'm doing now and how that's going to be so much more helpful to me soon.  It's been really helpful to have Evan and Rob there to keep me in the right place.


Relapse:  I came close to having a college moment flashback.  No matter what I could not get to studying for Security + during the week.  I kept getting distracted by my website, TeeVee shows, movies and Facebook.  I went to Evan and basically flipped out to him explaining that I couldn't concentrate and really needed some motivation.  He told me to grab a coffee, study for an hour, nap and repeat.  As I don't drink coffee I grabbed an energy drink.  It worked perfectly.


Poetry:  It may not be perfect, but whatever.  No clue what I'm going to title it either.

Jade, I know now, you’re problematic.

I realize that you are democratic,

Definitely insane and kind of spastic.

Jade I’m not sure if you’re demonic

But your inspiration is toxic.

I miss the times, though dramatic.

Where life wasn’t quite so erratic.

Relationships so fantastic

Are based on the tectonic

And should never be automatic.

So Jade, let’s be realistic,

You’re can’t be antagonistic.

So let’s change the characteristic.

Guide me to be narcissistic,

And push away the simplistic.

Once a Marine Always a Marine

The Sergeant I have looked up to the longest passed me along with a quote, "Once a Marine, always a Marine.  So why reenlist?"  Funny as hell, but when you look into reasons people don't reenlist it comes down to some of the stupidest things the Marine Corps could fix.  I read this article, and while long it points out better than I could have ever written the ineffective use of Marines.  Myself, I could never reenlist because I fight tooth and nail for what I want from the military and I put forth more effort back into them.  At each rank I wear I am always told I would make a perfect... the next rank higher.  What do I do?  I listen to people, call people out on bullshit, propose better ways of doing things, and pass on as much knowledge I can to the people that will listen.  Yesterday I was told I should reenlist and become a schoolhouse instructor so that I could pass my knowledge of switching and routing down because the classes I was giving were so helpful and full of information.  Yet, I am the one who is not allowed to deploy and redesign networks in Afghanistan.  I am the one being held back from school and certificates.  Fuck that, I'm out.  You won't see me again after March 18, 2012.

For now, Evan and I are pushing forward with the comic.  I have my hands on Illustrator and Photoshop so now I can actually contribute some decent comics.

This past Saturday I had my friend's wife locked my car keys in her car so that I wouldn't be able to drink and drive.  She's in the right, but that doesn't stop my shenanigans.  Instead I almost broke a teevee, I did break an air-zooka, I killed a half a handle of rum, I taught people a new drinking game, I finished a half a case and the rest of the night hasn't been told to me.

Lately I've been burning the candle at both ends with work and my life away from the digital uniform.  5:30 every day for pt (which I don't participate in due to my shoulder surgery), getting of work at 7:30 (on Tuesday), 7:00 (on Wednesday) and finally at 4:30 (today).  I then proceed to stay up until at the very least 11, if not 2.  I think I made up for it two weeks ago when I slept for 17 hours on the weekend.

Nothing Ever Remains

There are some pretty good tributes to Michael out there.  Personally I'd rather hear the covers than him actually sing them, but to each his own.  Billie Jean - The Bates stands alone to be my favorite.  But I was just shown this Beat It cover by Fall Out Boy and John Mayer.  I think it's pretty good too.


Kelsey, Evan and my mutual friend, is in France right now, and every time she posts pictures on Facebook I am immediately envious.  I need to tour Europe.  That and play Pockey again.  Hells yeah.  Snowboarding brings around great drinking games.


Speaking of snowboarding, it looks like I won't be able to this winter unless I keep it really safe.  No jumps, no rails, no cliffs.  I gotta watch out for my shoulder.  Hell just this past Saturday I drank a half a handle of Captain Morgan and jumped some fences.  My shoulder hurt for 24 hours after that.


The comic is progressing forward.  I enjoy uploading each week.  Evan and I get lazy with it sometimes, but then out of nowhere we'll draw up four comics in a week.  It works.


Poetry isn't moving along quickly, it never has for me.  Sometimes the words need to be written down, sometimes they need to be vocalized and told to someone and can't take form in a written sense.  Either way, here's one that I finalized.

Nothing Ever Remains

I tried to follow you with my eyes closed.

Holding you as your arms wrap around

And watching as you spoke my name.

I opened my eyes with anticipation.

I gazed to where you had been standing.

But there was nothing of yours that remained.

The moments that were spent are lost.

The fire behind my eyes is spent.

The renewed hope and vigor is drained.

8/5/2010

Perfect from Far Away

Everything looks perfect from far away.  Come down now.


You may look at my life from a distance and see that it look good, that I have everything in order, but sometimes I feel this is not the case.  I do have some things working out right now, school and work and certs and shoulder recovery.  Yet I'm definitely lacking something, missing something.


I was told for the hundredth time last night that I don't show emotion.  I guess I don't see the reason to get worked up about things that seem fickle and that just create drama.  Then again I was probably getting into a relationship that didn't need to be gotten into.  All well, you lose some too.


I really want to rework this, but here's what I have so far:

Walk Away

Close your eyes so I can turn away.  I won’t glance back.  I’m too afraid.

The repercussions that drive us to that point where all I can do;

Is take the only option out, I have to walk away.

Close the door behind me and bolt it quickly shut;

One more separation to keep me walking away.

Forget me and all my nots.  Slowly fade those memories.

And please close the blinds after I stand by the drive way.

Because if I look back and see you watching me,

I just won’t walk.  I’ll stand there anyway.

8/24/2010

Deja Who?

My surgery went well, apparently.  It's now been just over a week and no major problems.  I'm supposed to wear some stupid brace, but I opt not to.  I'm also supposed to start physical therapy.  I'm definitely starting to get more motion out of my shoulder.  Although, that could be from other exercises not necessarily pertaining to physical therapy.  Here is a picture of what the surgeon did:

The pen mark is where I have a piece of bone missing resulting from dislocations.


Deja Vu happened to me twice this past week, and I don't think my surgery had anything to do with triggering it. Once was during a conversation with Amber about the strip club Cheetahs.  I'm blanking on the other occasion, but whatever.  I thought, like I do each time it happens, that it was peculiar.  Noteworthy I guess.


I got a few good lines down in my book of poems.  Hopefully I can develop those a little bit.  I'm sure I'll post like I usually do when I get something good.


Saw Coheed and Cambria on Saturday, FUCKING AWESOME show.

Life is less than or equal to Death

Everyone hates bad news.  Hearing that Chris Platz died was definitely bad news.  Everything that I had heard about him seemed so positive: he was figuring out his life, he was living for his son, he did well in school, he was doing something with the Navy.  Rest In Peace Chris.  Maybe you will still find what you were looking for.

How do you follow that up with anything else?  Inception, or as like to call it Contraception, was an outstanding fucking movie.  Seriously awesome.  I am huge about insight and the depths of the mind and what they did in that movie was awesome.  The whole bit where they never had a beginning to any situation was also sweet.  It just jumped right in every time.

I'm not much for reading dreams or what they mean, but I do like the fact that our subconscious can do so much more.  I believe it too.

Poem:  The first bit of this was written in May, but I was able to finish it today.

Impasse Jade

I’m alarmed my muse may have become a siren,

Beautiful inspiration leading me to rocky shores.
Tranquility in her violent temptation.

Jade’s soothing voice has me begging for more.

She has me red lining from third to fourth.

Adrenaline pumping, disrupting the law.

My normalcy is a maze lost in its source.

The muse captivating me through faux pas.

Driven to satisfy all of her wants and needs;

To quench the lust in all she desires.

I am longing to cream or bleed.

Forced to follow and never tire.

I’m alarmed that I am treading on glass

While Jade floats on just out of my reach.

The road has bent toward the scary pass.

My life is draining.  My muse is a leach.

7/18/2010

... Of the Day

Just thinking about it.  I believe you could get cut short on your massage therapy session if you informed them of your massive knot that needs to be rubbed out.  Then again, what if the masseuse did it?

If Only

Pretty monumental events during the end of June. This Communications Exercise is taking up way too much time and at this point I don’t even give a fuck about it. Seriously, the hassles I’m dealing with and the hoops I’m jumping through to get the people in my company what they want that they think they “need” is absurd. Then to top things off Ryan almost dies in a motorcycle accident and all I want to do is be at the hospital until he gets better. Good friends are hard to come by and Mac and Carlson are visiting at least every day. I wish I could be there. I haven’t even seen him conscience yet. Accident Saturday; I find out Saturday night; go to the hospital; stay there until midnight after I worked a 36 hour shift; sleep; go there Sunday; he goes into surgery; he comes out of surgery; we see him while he’s still under; we leave; I go back to the Comm-Ex; surgery Monday or Tuesday (I’m mixing days together); recovery Tuesday; He’s somewhat conscience and moving around a bit; and here I am still at the Comm-Ex doing just about nothing.



If only I could be out of the Marine Corps, do what I do at a job, and then I wouldn’t have restrictions that limit me from visiting my friends. If only.


iPhone 4 – I don’t care any more. Are you going to release e-mails to the world like the iPad did?


632 days left of Active Duty Service.

In Between Happenings

So I'm still working on the poem that I've been working on for some time now.  I think I may have to break parts of it apart and do other things with them, but that happens.  In the process of writing I went back and was looking for a poem where I used the line "held back by the serifs caught on my tongue."  That line took a lot of effort.  I think I can really rotate the entire poem around that line.  I really want to revisit this poem, Busted Afternoons.  I have liked Subdue the Rain for a long time now, but Busted Afternoons really shows emotion.


Current Poem in Progress:  dealing with my muse.  I have had quite a bit of inspiration to guide my poetry, and I definitely have grown from the ugh, just thinking about it makes my soul hurt, things I used to write like "Sippy Liquey."  Yeah, that was a bad one.  I moved on to write some better things, and I.... words, something, yep I lost it.


Get It Faster - Jimmy Eat World


Pretty cool video cover: Paramore doing a cover of Use Somebody - Kings of Leon


Back to current.  How do you explain pain and spiraling effects and edging on disaster?
Sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the story
of that man skilled in all ways of contending,
the wanderer, harried for years on end


Portraying this has been difficult and most of the reason this poem is not done.  I'm going to work on it today and see what happens.

Whoa Black Betty dah deh dah

At the moment, I am a wee bit hungover and VERY scatter-brained.

I'm set to go to Yuma, Arizona tomorrow for a couple days to see how my buddies in Bravo have been running their network.  Then we can see what we need to emulate for our impending operation.

I got pissed off at one of my sergeants last week and proceeded to yell at him in front of everyone.  I could have been written up immediately for that and lost my rank.  Kind of out of character for me, but he really pissed me off.

Song: Scream with Me - Mudvayne

I've been in a writing and drawing mood lately.  I drew three, one panel, comics last week.  Decently funny.  I want to write, but I'm just not sure where to start.  No lines are hitting me yet.  Expect to see "jade" for a while.

I have been loving my latest phone.  Let me check here.  First phone was a Motorola flip that I dropped down a flight of stairs and it still worked (Rob also had the same phone).  I may need to edit this later, forgetting.  I know I had the RZRv3 flip.  I think that was next.  Then the LG Chocolate slide.  Then the LG Versa.  And now the HTC Eris, which is a droid.  The new app I just got was a countdown timer.  Yep, I put my EAS on that baby.

EAS - 693 days.  99 weeks left.  A little under 2 years.

I bought a 2003 Mini Cooper on March 30.  I have been loving driving that car.  I named her Black Betty.

That's all I really have for now.

3rd Time is the Charm: Disposition

Disposition

End of heartache
Gorgeous is just a formality
Teeter on interest
Unbecoming and
Jaded disposition.

4/8/2010

Poem for Winter

A Winter Walk

I take a walk that is frequent in clairvoyance.

Shuffling my feet along to ease my mind because

I am riddled by temple hemispheres.

Drifted banks of snow, line the path I walk.

Indents into ankle high powder are the footsteps of my past.

I place my next foot over soft unique snowflakes

Which are then pressed into eight inch patterns.

Each footfall is a fresh start in any direction.

The chill breeze at my back edging me along

While I drag my feet with reminiscence.

Each step confronting openly the future.

My fingertips curled into my jade sweatshirt

Fumbling the leafs onto which I have written.

The papers fall to the wayside and scatter.

Meaning lost in diction and connotation.

Imagery forgotten with syllables and stress.

3/21/2010

Location, Location, Location

I had some firsts on my trip to Snowbird, Utah.
1. Snowboarding on some real mountains.  AWESOME!
2. Saki-bomb.  I had three.  They were okay.  Better beer might have made that a better experience.
3. Managing to get drunk in a state where 3.2% alcohol is all you can find.
4. Sushi.  I had multiple variations.  The best being shrimp something with wasabi.  I guess I always knew I wouldn't like sushi that much, but I finally did try it.  So eat it, whore.
5.  I realized that snowboarding with Evan could be the cause of my shoulder problems.
 a. One of my first times snowboarding we left Mt. Holly early because I hurt my shoulder.  
 b. Bear Mountain I fall off a rail and hurt my shoulder.
 c. I dislocate my shoulder at Boyne Highlands on a vert wall.
 d. I dislocate my shoulder at Nubs Nob by sliding out somehow.
 e. I dislocate my shoulder at Snowbird exactly the same as at Nubs Nob.
 f. I dislocate my shoulder at Snowbird by jumping off of a rock.
 g. I dislocate my shoulder at Snowbird by losing my edge and rolling.
6. I ran into my first pay for carry-on even though I am military.  Lame. $60.
7. I got wind-burn on my face so bad that I have a distinct goggle tan.  Sweet proof of my snowboard trip.
8.  Making up a drinking game with Evan.  Too bad Rob wasn't involved in this one.
 a.  At a reception or similar:  if someone orders a wine, 1 drink.
 b. Beer, 2 drinks.
 c. Mixed-drink, 3 drinks.
 d. Straight-drink, 4 drinks.
 e. Additional rules and variations are acceptable.


Pretty eventful vacation.  Totally worth it.

Commando

Congratulations DC on approving gay marriage. Hopefully the rest of the country will understand and get the point.  Fuck you Catholic church for not understanding.

I feel the need to express my feelings on sleeping in the nude.  This is like treating yourself to ice cream.  If you do it too often it is no longer a treat, it's just a thing you do.  I like to do it maybe twice a month.  It's relaxing, it's funny.  I woke up this morning and thought to myself, "shit I'm naked, oh yeah my roommate's not here, hmm, should I find underwear?"  This even applies when you're sleeping with someone else.  You don't have to spend every night with the other naked.  You also don't have to spend every night clothed.  Take a couple of days out of the month and sleep naked.  It's fan-fucking-tastic.

Furthermore.  I don't know why, I just felt that furthermore was the word I wanted to use.

New Shirts:  Yay I own new shirts with funny sayings on them.  Well, one repurchased shirt to replace a lost one, but two new and one replaced.  So YAY.

Wine Tour: the last place we went was not on the required list, it was extra.  It was a wine bar and they have the movie "Swingers" constantly playing.  Apparently Vince Vaughn stopped in to represent once.  Pretty cool considering I saw this movie randomly with... I think it was Maddy (pot-head can't remember) because my sister thought it was a good movie and several years later this random movie aids me in feeling superior to my friends.

Halt the Spun World

Haiti.  Now Chile.  The world is in chaos.  What the fuck does politics and history matter when mother nature can just wipe it all out?  Tell the truth some time and actually legitimately care for some one.  (My fortune cookie moment).

Movies:  Ninja Assassin is a less plot driven movie than Hitman.

Music Playlist:  Something with Offspring, Rise Against, Weezer, and At the Drive-in.

I'm trying to keep writing.  Kinda pushing myself to keep going.  This is the better of the things that have been going onto paper:

Halt the Spun World

Drop to your knees and beg the world to stop spinning.
She dreams of a moment where it all just stops.
Don’t close your eyes and forget me,
Just quit going the way you’re headed.
Follow me, she begs, and we’ll bypass all the chaos.
The route through the madness that only we can take

She falls to her knees.

Or maybe it’s just me and my head is spinning.
I’ve dropped down and it all just won’t stop.
Please help me get my feet planted firmly.
It’s all jaded and it’s all still spinning.
2/28/2010

Hectic

I'm sympathetic, usually, to people who are really busy and feel over worked.  Last time I felt like this I was in Iraq and trying to do everything.  Instead of it just being one job with multiple tasks, now it's multiple responsibilities with certain requirements.  For example, I have work which is being dumb as usual; homework and school in general and the tasks that go along with that; the breaking down of my car and now the research that goes along with the purchase of a new car;  finding out that my credit is pretty terrible and getting a loan will be fun; and I always have a general finance worry on my mind.  Sweet.

G. Love put on a decent show, though I think I enjoyed the Vancouver band was better.  He didn't play I-76 and I was elbowing rude people out of my way the entire show.

I think I'll just stay indoors and do the things that I do.

The Games We Play

I should probably be working on homework, but fuck it.

I made a new game that I love playing when I drink.  When I go to the bathroom I time my flush so that my peeing ends just before the flushing ends.  This game gets really difficult at other people's houses, bars, and other foreign piss-receptacles.  I have, however, figured out my own toilet pretty well due to this game.  Though another complexity to the aforementioned game is knowing your own bladder.  I have found that mine can be sometimes deceptive and cruel.

In other news:  I have scheduled G. Love concert next friday and a wine tour the final weekend in February.  I'm pretty excited about both of these.

Not Recent:  I have changed my feelings on which beer to use for mass quantities.  I have moved from Bud Light to Coors Light.  This feeling was persuaded from Evan, mostly.  In turn I have persuaded multiple others to try Coors Light in comparison and have gotten those individuals to change their opinions, mostly Sam. 

As mentioned in Sketchy is my feeling on a line I had for a poem.  I have since then steadily, and slowly, worked a poem out.  It is as follows.

Busted Afternoons

I saw her standing there in the afternoon.

The glint in Jade’s eye piercing me with…

Misunderstanding, it’s all just a big…

Crowding feelings and mixed emotions.

Waste of my time.

Forget the things that didn’t last.

Forget the things that will come to pass.

Choking on words like the breaths of

Air on which I do not speak.

Lost in translation and held back

By the serifs caught on my tongue.

Crushed dreams from empty promises.

Busted afternoons and long nights alone.

2/4/2010

Time to crack a beer and do some homework.

...Sketchy...

A usual day for me involves work, booze & video games with my friends and sleep only to wake up and do it all over again. Not that that has changed a whole lot, but some things are different.
1. I like to write in some list or bullet format sometimes
2. I started school again. College for that matter. I'm taking classes that interest me.
3. Evan barely plays video games due to a crappy connection, so my time has been dwindling too.
4. Writing lately has been interesting. The lines aren't flowing in a manner that makes sense or that would be a good poem. It's sketchy...
Example: Tonight felt forced and I came up with "Misunderstanding, it's all just a big - waste of time." Bam, stuck, me going nowhere else with that line. That sucks. Worst part is that it isn't the first time.

I guess I felt that I needed to get that off my chest.

Memories Flood

In whatever way it is done; I'm not sure, but I am convinced memories are not stored in a linear manner. I have found on this trip home that the strangest of recollections pour into my thoughts. I'm not sure how to better explain it than that. I do the simplest of things while I'm home and my mind races to all these different events that have taken place. I was eating an old favorite - Death by Chocolate, and I literally lost myself in thought for the entirety of the bowl of ice cream.

Along the same lines: I get deja vu. A phenomenon where as you do something you feel you have been in that situation before, done that thing and were in that place (or along those lines). I often find this the case. However, I have run into the instances of hmmm... precognition, premonition, whatever you may want to call it, the future sight. I'm not saying I believe in madam fortuna or the likes, or tarot (although I do find astrology interesting), but I have in a manner of saying a sense of a futuristic mentality.
- The reason for posting this is due to the fact that tonight I had a creepy one. I felt the need to post something in the relation to it. Perhaps remind myself: strange thing how memories work.

Read up on it sometime. A memory can really deceive you. You can picture something in a particular way all your life, only to have the fact brought forth and be completely different. The color of a shirt changing from blue to black. The memory of shoes changing from skater style to moccasins. I ramble, and for that I apologize. The best thing to do, find the memory you want to never change and write it down, at that moment take a picture. The best thing for a mind to properly assemble and form a memory is for fact to assist it. You can remember how cold it really was when you see that old picture of your family at the ski resort. How your toes felt like they were going to break off.

Thanks for coming along when you did twenty-ten. What would I do without a new year to start me off right.

Italian Women

Thank god for Italian women. I have had four different Italian women cook for me in just over a month. Thanksgiving I had a sweet meal with my sister's friend who was out in San Diego, Joy. Then I come home for Christmas and these women won't leave me be. My mom is placing her best meals on the table before me. Always trying to make me eat more and more. How did I do it before? I feel fat AND sassy. After Christmas my parents and I make our trip down to visit more family in Maryland and Pennsylvania. Upon arrival in Maryland, my aunt (married into my dad's side) feeds me non-stop the entire time of being there. We continue to Natrona Heights, Pennsylvania and there I have my mom's mom, my grandma, cooking too. HOLY NON-STOP EATING BATMAN!

Not only that, but when I arrived home Evan fed me his mom's famous Christmas cookies and a sangwich that was deli worthy (something that had steak and cheese and deliciousness, with an appetizer, side, entree, and desert of beer).

I could have had more Italian cooking when I was offered tiramisu, but I declined as I had seriously eaten less than an hour ago.

Happenings: Evan, Rob and I are set to make a trip to Nubs Nob and have a board/drink fest of 2010. Should be an awesome time.

Ringing in the New Year: Eventful, to say the least. I might not have had champagne readily available, but we had the champagne of beers (Miller High Life). Plus Rob and I have more hilarity to add to our story collection.

All in all, thank god for Italian women.