Presenting Awards

Sometimes you just have to admire how it can be a game, or how it can be political. I thought it was about mission, but if you aren't kissing the right person's ass, you just won't be recognized. Perfect example: There were only a handful of us who busted our balls on the network out here in Iraq. I don't kiss ass, I'm a smart ass (example soon to follow). I am presented a simple, 'hey, you did a good job' because I had a Sergeant recognize that I can do my job. However, our shop Gunnery Sergeant was presented his second Navy and Marine Corps Achievement Medal (NAM). What did he do out here, fucking nothing. In fact, he was more of a hindrance in getting the job done whenever he went out to 'help' us. He kissed our Lieutenant's ass and therefore was written up with the award.

In terms of being a smart ass: Iraq is the largest stand alone network in the world (previously mentioned and will be explained further later). We have basically two core switches / routers, twenty distribution switches / routers and over four hundred and fifty access switches, which in turn provide services to over twenty thousand users and all of that is at Al Asad. Hence, when a Colonel hands me a coin, the one my Sergeant wrote me up to receive, and mentions how I did a good job as a MIMMs NCO and that I worked on forty to fifty access switches ... that bothers me. And me being me, I can't let that go. So before I can filter the message my brain sends I slide in, "A few more than that, sir." Not in a disrespectful way, but in a way that everyone of higher rank in my shop has called me a smart ass for. I'm sorry, but no. You are wrong. Someone gave you bad information. It's over four fifty.

Giving a Presentation: I realize that drop outs and people that can't get into college are often the ones who join the Military, but that should not stop our High Schools from teaching their students how to properly give a presentation. I had three presentations today and they just happened to cover all the possiblities. 1st) Our Chaplain did it right. 2nd) Our Corps-woman did it wrong. She almost never referenced her slides, and talked about what needed to be covered. Use the slides properly. If you aren't going to say anything on a slide, then get rid of it. Only one in three slides were ever covered, even partially, and the rest were given her hand wave and 'Next'. 3rd) Our acting Company Gunny did it wrong. He never strayed from the slides. Not a single word. Not only that, but he would read the whole slide through and then pick key words or phrases from each slide and tell us what they mean. No shit. I guess I didn't realize that 'Getting Involved' meant interacting with my fellow Marines. The right way to present? The slides are there for an outline of your presentation and can also be used to demonstrate (graphs, pictures, videos). Otherwise, there is no reason to put a paragraph on a slide. Key words, phrases and sentences only (Like a Fucking Outline).

Enough bitching from me. I made a decision. I figure this deployment most likely won't be my last. Therefore, I purchased something I don't need. Oakley Sunglasses. I got them with the black lenses and black frames. I like them, and considering my brother's upcoming wedding, and also the way I dress, in general, I think they will add to my style.

Favorite Port-a-John Quote: Ladies, how does it feel going back to the US to be ugly again?

Favorite word describing a decent looking girl in Iraq: Iraq-able.
Use it in a sentence: Yep, I'd do her, she's Iraq-able.

And I'm done. I really wish I had a scanner. There are some drawings I'd like to upload. I guess those will just have to wait.

Things and Such

Movie to watch: Seven Pounds. It's really cool, though really sad. Really.

Ending a Deployment: All the bullshit you didn't have to deal with, just seems to build up. During the deployment it was, 'No, I can't give up five Marines to a working party to dig a trench. I have a network to run.' Well, maybe it's not that bad, but it seems we are trying to give our network over on a silver fucking platter. 'Hey we need to clean out all the drawers and rooms of everything we don't use so that they are good to go.' 'Let's reorganize all the fiber.' 'Let's move desks around.' Shouldn't we be turning over with the people replacing us? Not cleaning up for them? Tell me to teach them how to TFTP or XModem a switch IOS and I will. Have we, no. Why? Because we can make the bunker look pretty so that things are neat. Fuck that.

What else? Oh yeah, how about the concept of leftseat - rightseat (imagine driving a car). Turnover is two weeks long. One week we control the network and they look over our shoulders, and the next week we let them drive and we just help out if they fuck something up, or we give them hints on how to do it better. Nope, we're just going to rip the band-aid off at the last possible minute and when they have questions we won't be here to answer them.

That aside, getting ready to leave has never been sweeter. Maybe leaving boot camp. Don't get me wrong, this deployment wasn't bad. I love doing my job. In fact, now that I'm single I would re-deploy in two months and not care. Well, maybe a little care. I would miss the fast internet, the driving my car, the drinking alcohol, the having weekends, etc. The fact of the matter is, when I'm in CONUS (Continental United States) my job is nothing. I don't do jack. I only do my job in a deployed environment. So send me home, let me play for two months, then send me back out. If Afghanistan is next, to Afghanistan I go. Just don't put me on a convoy. Let me fix the switches, the servers, the routers, the printers, the computers, the cat5 lines. It's what I do and I'm fucking good at it.

Mood: Depressed

Women: Meghan is over me. That sucks. I'm not over her. My brain is rattled worse than ever before. I can keep focus whenever I need to, but in the moments where I day-dream or my mind wanders (considering I'm ADD this happens often) I tend to think of her, or events with her. It's sad actually. My stories went from, my girlfriend does this to - my ex-girlfriend did that. I sound pathetic.
-Example: Talking about cars. Sgt. Messerole says he has to purchase an automatic, but that the 'no clutch manual' is really cool. I guess that would work for him, but seriously though? Screw that. I've tried it. It's gay. You might as well just drive auto. No clutch, no dice. The comment I wanted to add in that I had to bite my tongue on, 'Well, if you were married to someone like my ex-girlfriend, then she would be able to drive a stick and you wouldn't have that problem.'

Movie I relate to: Gran Torino. I can recognize the houses and the streets of Detroit, and the credits roll on Lake Shore Drive.

Plans Upon Arrival in San Diego: Unpack what I need, get my car from TMO (if I can), go catch lunch at California Thai (delicious), unpack some more, go downtown and purchase a Freebord, check out Oakley's sunglasses at the Oakley shop on 5th Street, maybe grab a beer at a bar, get something good for dinner (perhaps Panda Express) and then go back to my room with a case of beer and drink with other people.

Method of Masturbation: Shower and a form of lubricant (shampoo, soap, etc) with mental thoughts of previous sexual encounters.

Additional Purchase: A scanner so that I can post my drawings.

Best Friends

So here's how I was thinking about it. My best friends, Evan and Rob, have two different sets of morals and this is how I think having my girlfriend (make one up, named Jane) that liked one of them would work out.

Rob: Jane hits on Rob. I think of Rob as a 'bros before hoes' kind of guy. He would be like, sorry, but you're just another trick and Matt can do better. Then he would let me know, dude I think Jane might be a slut. And would keep it real with me. He's a straight up kinda guy.

Evan: Jane hits on Evan. I think of Evan as a 'I can't keep it in my pants for more than thirty minutes' kinda guy. He would whip it out, throw it down and fuck her in every imaginable and possible way. Then he would let me know, dude watch out I think Jane might be a slut. She came on to me. He might lie to me, but he would tell me how he felt about the girl. He's a straight up kinda guy.

Either way, their opinion on my girlfriends of the past have always been "Matt are you serious, break up with her. No, not tomorrow, five months ago. What are you still doing in this relationship?" I don't think either of them would allow their thoughts to be not heard if it allowed them to let me suffer in an unjust relationship.

What else, hmm. I don't know.

Snoogens, bitches.

Being a Pussy

I think I just realized how much of a pussy I really am. I can not ask out a girl without knowing for sure that she is interested in me. I can prove this with every girl I've been interested in. They ALWAYS make the first move, or a move where I'm positive they like me. I'll try my best in recalling:
Koral (4 days) - asked her to a U of D dance, she kissed me there.
Tuesday (2 months approx) - I remember a dance involved, but I can't remember if it started there. I don't believe so.
Nicole (1 year, 1 year again) - invited her over after Christmas mass and she kissed me on the cheek.
Mattie (3 weeks) - I barely remember this relationship, seriously. That's kinda bad, but I know there wasn't much physical interaction.
Maddy (no official time) - I can remember events, but not the start. I wanna say it was at (the park on lakeland and jefferson, City Park?)
-Chrissy - Kissed my ear on the couch in the quad at MTU, I noticed the move and ended up making out with her. Made the whole 'friends' situation awkward and we really haven't spoken since.
-Melissa - I never made a move and neither did she. Maybe better that way.
-Dana (basically dated, never official, ... for a month?) - kissed my ear in my car outside her house.
-Meghan (1 year 10 months) - kissed my ear when I had my head in her lap at my house watching movies/teevee shows.

I really think that I have never made the first move. Yes, maybe the first kiss. But the first move? Nope, never. I am a pussy.

Just the Poem

I wrote this one last night. I'm not sure how I feel about it. I think some revision may be in order. Look at the star constellation Orion on its side and it looks like a stingray. I will name that stingray Orion (sorry, off track).

Orion's Belt

Orion stands firm, bow strung taut.
He and his stars shine down bright.
Dancing above the cruel atmosphere.

Laying below, the sand at my back.
Trying to go, to run, to disappear.
Somewhere to hide away,
Hide from the pain and sorrow,
Longing for the end of today,
Always moments from tomorrow.

Stuck in my head the body of an angel.
Seared into my thoughts are beautiful eyes.
To dance again with the stars in the heavens.

The wind blows with each step you take.
Blown away from me, caught in a gust.
With one more step you vanish from sight
And I'm hurled into darkness and dispair.
A heart left broken, empty and alone.

No dances left for a heart of stone.
The stars die with the night. And the sun,
Drawn by chariot, crosses the horizon.
01/05/2009

Generating Hype

You're around some of your friends, and they have money, and they are going to buy this and that and the other thing. God I want all those things and it's so hard for me to say no, but I have to. No I cannot purchase those Oakley's even though they are $100.00 off, they still cost $80.00. Damn, how I want them. One of the toughest things to do. Just saying no to unnecessary purchases.

I loved Halo. I loved Halo 2. I failed out of college partly because of Halo 2. I loved Halo 3. I loved playing it online. However, for some reason Call of Duty 4 caught my eye. It was faster loads between games. You kept your party of teammates and opponents. The challenge was amazing. Then, all of a sudden I found that I wasn't playing Halo 3 anymore. I think that Call of Duty 4 (CoD4) was so great due to Infinity Ward. They made the online play amazing. I've played Call of Duty: World at War and it just doesn't hold up in comparison. No, I have not played it online, but the game itself wasn't as good. Besides, I can't stand WWII weapons. They suck. Now I have to worry about Halo: ODST. It caught my eye in a way Halo 2 and 3 did. But will the 'fighting aliens' concept be good? I just don't know what to think. And ODST won't have an online play to go with it. They are just going to let you play Halo 3 on the disc. What kind of crap is that, Bungie? I am getting pretty hyped up for another Halo. And a tactical game is one I'm looking for.

Onto other things: Pubes. I shave. I like it that way. I prefer feeling smooth skin and not hair when I have to masturbate or for any other reason I need to touch myself. Hell, I think it looks better. I'm considering a wax, but, well. 1) I'm not sure how it would work. 2) I don't know of a place that would wax a guy. 3) It's just cheaper if I keep shaving.
For the ladies. It's like Pepsi or Coke. Big boobs or little boobs. I prefer Pepsi and I prefer little boobs (there is less potential for sagging, plus I like 'em perky). I also prefer you sans pubes. But, if you give me a Coke I'll drink it. I won't be spending mouth time on a girl that has a bush. Fingers or cock. No shave, no oral (Simple).
I have had both. When I was naive and had braces I definitely went down on a girlfriend and regretted the bush she had as somehow those squiggly hairs just end up in your mouth, between teeth, at the time caught in braces, and finally into your stomach. Gross. One of the things you have to find out the hard way, I suppose. Moving onto better things I ate out a shaved girl and I was much more willing to spend time between her legs. Ask an ex, I'll spend hours and not complain. You have your ass-men. You have your boobs-men. I consider myself a pussy-man. I don't consider myself an 'oral god' so you're probably not missing out on much, so wear your vagina however you want to and I will do the same with mine.

Energy Drinks: Oh how I am addicted. Monster Chaos and Red Bull. Do I need them? No. But they are delicious.

Sucker: I am a sucker for a girl's stomach. If you have a good looking stomach I will forget about the bag over your face. I don't think I realized this until my friend Chrissy in college. I was dating Nicole at the time, who does not have a good looking stomach, and used to hang out in the sauna with friends. I never cheated on Nicole with Chrissy, I don't think Chrissy would have ever allowed it, but I think I saw how a tight stomach just caught my eye.

Funny Moment: You know the move guys make where they yawn and put an arm over the shoulder of a girl? I just witnessed a Data Marine stretch out a cat5 line in the same manner.

Back to tight stomachs. Yep. Think about it. Yep. Okay, I'm done.

Desires

I saw a banned commercial about Pop Rocks today. The implication that a blow job is okay, but getting head with Pop Rocks is fantastic. Wrong. I've had it done. You end up with a sticky cock and feel none of the "popping" effects. Maybe I have a very insensitive dick, nevertheless, you are probably not going to be inserting into her with a candy covered cock (alliteration). So find something else that sounds cool, perhaps a cleveland steamer is more to your liking.

Technology today: Exciting. have you seen HDMI. It is way better than S-video, way better than composite cables. Don't have it? You can purchase a video card and insert it into your PCI Express slot and wa-la your computer can talk to your tv. Cool thing behind HDMI, it's not just video like most video cables. It takes care of your audio too.

Incorporating this: I want to build a desktop (ATX shell) from scratch. It will be my first build. I want to create a multifunctional server. Connecting directly to my TV I will use it as my DVD player. Using Raid5 across three or four hard drives I will have a storage server for all my movies, teevee shows, documents, pictures, and anything else I can think of. I could extend and make it a Web Server and host a website from it. Who knows, the possibilites are endless.

My thoughts about the build: Linux. I do not want to deal with Windows or the cost of Microsoft products. Linux runs smooth and without the need for massive memory. It's veratile: I can use this computer for all my functions. Check out Unbuntu or SUSE, they are pretty cool and free. If I'm not going to be using this as a 'work' computer, then why do I need programs like Microsoft Office. With Linux I could use a Solid State Disk. Boot and run all my system files off of a 16gig Solid State Disk and run all my storage off of a different drive.

Don't like the sound of Linux, afraid of it perhaps: Most cell phones are Linux OS. It's easy to run.

Food of the moment: Lasagna - I want some.

Things I want:
-mp3 player. I'm sick of going on flights and not having good music to listen to. I like ipods and I trust them, but zunes aren't bad. The nano shape is pretty cool.
-freebord. They are just frickin' awesome.
-my Alienware computer to be fixed. The monitor display is broken. The video card is fine though. I can postpone the fix by using my teevee as a display.

Quote of the day: Zach Galifianakis - 'You know what I like to do when I'm making out with a woman? I like to whisper in her ear "Would you like to touch my vagina?" and she's like "WHAT!?!" and I'm like [whispering] "that's what you're supposed to say." '

Another good whisper: 'Sweet nothings'

You want a New Years Resolution? How about, I resolve to stop making New Year Resolutions. Damn, I failed.