Rift
Jesse, honey. The world is splitting in two.
Apocalypse is impending, doom is here.
The rift is immense and you're holding true.
Meteors and nuclear smoke in the atmosphere.
Can you see the difference in this choice?
Tidal waves, Sears Tower high, are crashing.
Chaos has us all running and I want to hear your voice.
Can't call you, EMP sent planes smashing.
Dodge the old man's ford on fire.
Spin free and houdini from the anchor.
I couldn't be in the places that you require.
I lost long before in a parallel to euchre.
You're on the other side of this rift that's splitting.
I'm crying out for a change in this fucking world.
The realization dawns: I have no influence to our parting.
I guess at the end everything is unfurled.
11/23/2009
My Fucked Up World of Existence
Pron: I like to call it pr0n, but that would be the l33t in me coming out. Where the fuck did mouth fucking start becoming popular? I never really like watching blowjob porn. But it was always out there. But now?? Now there is this concept where shoving your cock as far into a girl's throat is awesome. 1. Gagging sound plus squelch from saliva? Not hot. 2. Rape of the mouth is not cool by me. I think I'll stick with my primary of only women in porn and stay away from the things with guys in them.
Blowjobs: While I'm on the topic, I'm sure there is plenty of girls out there who pride themselves on sucking a mean dick. Some fatty who tries to stuff it down like her afternoon snack. Again, not so much. I'll take a little foreplay in the nether-regions. It feels good. I would definitely prefer a real blowie to a deepthroat. Yet I am stuck at the fact that I would rather wait until I could have sex.
Cracked: I've been reading this site lately and it is pretty funny. Very comparable to The Onion, or something to that nature. Where ever cracked came up with this article is beyond me. If anyone has ever read such things in a cosmo mag and thought it was a good idea to be rough on a guy in such manners has the wrong idea. I agree with cracked and while I can take a little firmness, rough is never what I want when testes are on the line.
One of my top rated albums: Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American.
Song of the Moment: What Sarah Said - Death Cab for Cutie.
Speaking of Music: I downloaded the latest Weezer album, Ratitude. I think I'll stick with Maladroit as my all-time favorite of theirs. Yes there are songs on each album I like, but Maladroit is in my opinion Weezer's best.
Something I have never been able to do: Become friends with an ex. I have had conversations with exes here and there, very infrequent, and it's just the catching up deal. I feel like I have barely changed since grade school so I feel like I don't outgrow people. When it comes down to it there are things that have an end. There is a reason for the end. There was a reason I was never friends with a girl before. I don't get it. I'm bad at it.
Something Interesting: Sister Christian - Coheed & Cambria.
Something I wrote in Yuma, Az on that op:
There are things I have done that I don't understand. Not necessarily bad things, just actions I don't understand. For example, why when I slept with Meghan that in the morning I would pull her into me. Pull her in to be my little spoon. It was never a conscience decision. Is this an action I have done before? Will I do it again?
More importantly though, why do I fake crying? Perhaps because I believed crying was a weakness. When I grew up and my dad was mad he would yell. Not that he is a terrible person, just his mood or how he was raised makes him act like that. I've seen my siblings cry, I've seen my mom cry, I've cried myself. I grew determined that I would not cry if i could prevent it. But why have I let that apply to situations outside of him? Is it ingrained in me that it is really that bad? Every time I feel that the emotion is there I have to force myself to cry. And that is not real crying. Maybe I am trying to portray a softer side to myself. It is something I don't understand. In fact, it kind of haunts me.
Fuck it, let's get drunk and go snowboarding.
Well I'm pretty frustrated at myself for not being able to do anything artistic lately. It's been pretty lame. Regardless, I'm drunk and have had a good fill of MW2. I have a couple of links I want to post and/or something.
First: Have you ever seen the movie untraceable. It's pretty cool. The more you click on a website the faster a person dies and the whole thing is on the website. Well here is a pyramid website where the clicks reveal pictures of an exgirlfriend that this guy is pissed off at. I think the whole premise on the website is hilarious. http://ihatejade.com/?id=uje9ascv6b8i90zmhlbayi8acljesc
Second: FML has taken off, and TFLN is getting big too. I personally think that FML has caught the attention of teenagers who need people to hear them. TFLN has some hilarious texts and I am always posting those on friend's facebook walls. Even better though is i am neurotic. This site is the epitome of people who are messed up. I can not get enough of the things people make themselves do.
Third: Well there isn't a third. damn.
Duct Tape: Fixes all except its original purpose, fixing ducts.
Being Cool with Duct Tape: Remember the trends? The duct tape wrist band? I totally forgot about that until today I was three-quarters of the way into making one. Then that reminded me, I used to be pretty good with hemp design too. That got me thinking: maybe I should make a cool necklace again.
Events: I'm not one for news. When the newscasters are bored they talk about celebrity gossip. When there is a HOT topic, then they talk about it in a fashion that hurts one's soul. Always putting a spin on something. Take today's events for example: 12 and rising are killed at Fort Hood in some soldier's craziness. The second topic you ask - "Sandra Bullock 'grateful' for stepmom role." All the more reason for me to stick with video games and random conversations with friends.
I have changed my mind about vehicle purchase... wait hold on. Phish just came on my playlist. (pause for Silent in the Morning) Okay, so what was I typing about, oh yeah. I feel that the black cherry never needs to be popped. Wait, that was not the topic. Evan's Mini Cooper was always a fun car, but I have been convinced to browse the American shelf of cars. So I looked. Mazda 6 is cool. Volvo S40 would be nice to drive. I think the car for me, however, is the Jeep Compass. It is small for the mobility I want on the road, and it can tow and handle the random stuff I always have in my current car (snowboard, golf bag, drunk chair, toolbox, and miscellaneous stuff that finds its way in there).
Linux: Holy hell. Open Suse has a create your own image (Operating System and Applications and files and background and everything). It's called Appliance on the SUSE Studio. Free to sign up. I took several trial runs and I think I finally came up with something I really like. Next step: Open up space on this laptop, buy a two terabyte external for more storage, and make sure I have another computer near by for driver installs and downloads.
Windows 7: Ben Pruyne bought it in Yuma and installed the 32bit on his laptop and the 64bit on his desktop. I took a look at it. Really nice. Removed the weight that Vista carried and simplified some more aspects. Windows might have taken a few more steps in the direction of Apple, but Apples are selling and you have to keep with the times. I personally have really come to like Vista. It is much easier to browse and maneuver than XP. The steps 7 went are just that much simpler.
-Why 7? In case you don't know: 95, 98, 2000, ME, XP, Vista... 7.
Pushing feelings behind me. Two years was a good run and the best relationship I have ever had. Gotta hope for good things in the future. Enjoy your Thursday and I'll enjoy mine.
I need to vent for a moment. Since Meghan and I broke up for the second time, and since it is so obvious that we will ever get back together, my emotions have been Helter Skelter - Beatles. I'm trying to lose that dream. I'm attempting to forget what I can't have. The best part? I am struggling to write again. I lose the inspiration. I don't understand why I have this problem, but I do. Makes me pretty lame.
Previous girlfriends have been easy to forget, or easier to get over. This girl has really messed me up in a bad way. I have been getting emotional over the littlest things and anything that reminds me of anything, which is everything. I drink so I can steer away from being a pussy when I'm sober.
Hopefully I can get away from this self-pity. For now I needed to write this down.
In other news: The events out here in Yuma, Arizona. Five of us from my data shop went out to the middle of nowhere and provided communications with twenty-five other people from other shops. From my shop I did most of the work. I did everything networking related. Another guy set up and managed the servers and user accounts, but once he did that he was done. If anything happened I was always the one they woke up, or asked, or had solve their problem. So that was a nice responsibility.
Although these words may be slightly synonomous follow me on their different conotations. I feel that I have this mindset where I am inspired, intrigued, facinated and curious about the most random things. Example: we were discussing monitors at work last week. The discussion revolved around resolution but dipped into 1080. Monitors are getting better than 1080, but there is still this 1080p vs 1080i question in my head. So I immediately began research on the difference between p and i. First reaction, “What are you doing?” response, “looking up the difference of 1080p and 1080i” “why, everyone knows p is better” response, “but why is p better. Why does everyone only know that aspect of the argument?” So I reseached it. P stands for progressive scan. All pixels are constantly updating with the proper image. I stands for interlaced. This is how old tube tv’s worked. First the odd lines flashed followed rapidly by the even lines (hence why if you videotape a screen you can see these scrolling lines. It’s too fast for the human eye). 1080 can be converted by the tv to 540 and it can handle it better. LCD never needs this interlaced and we could move onto progressive. And now I know.
For some reason this kind of thing is always happening to me. I end up researching something everyone knows about but that no one cares to really know the background to. Thank you for the useless knowledge I build. Miramar is hosting their annual airshow this weekend. Did you know that a barrel roll is a loop and what we know as a barrel roll is a aileron roll. Thank you Starfox for teaching children wrong.I was watching Angels and Demons today. I have read the book and that delve into the illuminati is really cool. In fact going into that old science of earth, air, fire and water is really inspirational to me. I even applaud questioning of America's past and even the consideration that Washington D.C. is a continuation of Rome.
No matter what religion you are I always think it is a good idea to provoke questioning and pushing the limits of ideas pressed upon you. I was raised Catholic and I have never stopped questioning the faults that Christianity has made. I have had a similar discussion with someone of Mormon faith and I would love to continue with other religions. We are past the age where the sun was pulled across the sky by a chariot. Let modern religion support scientific progression. Furthermore, the further you progress into science the more you see god in everything. NASA can trek to the depths of space, but it still is so never-ending. CERN can find smaller and smaller but that is too never-ending. The search for god and our purpose is never-ending. Simple.
Time to lay back and watch the sky, because that is one of my favorite things to do. Observe nature and it's awesomeness.
Mood: Tempid (Interesting, Tempid has a red line under it. Apparently blogspot doesn't recognize the variation of tepid in a fashion sense) (double note, blogspot has a red line under it too. Apparently blogspot doesn't recognize it's own name)
I want to post the lyrics I wrote for the Night Angel Trilogy. This is part 1.
The Way of Shadows
A world bound to turmoil and evil
Can only be kept by the best who can kill
Through trial and error the boy will learn
On this path he will be forced to be Stern
Crippled by pain, destroyed by the fear
Cursed by the knowing that he would appear
Swift through the night, the wetboy will run
The deader, the person, and the deed is done
Immortality's curse and judgment's blade
Cloaked in grays, a death to be paid
Life's cruel joke, his father must die
That he may live on, retribution at his side
As he walks through the night
He feels so alone
He's taken his father's life
He's now dead and gone
09/26/2009
Song of the Moment: Cage the Elephant - Ain't No Rest for the Wicked
Something I thought was really cool was a "about me" I put into my facebook and I have still not taken out. I like to have this impression where if someone reads it they think that I am quoting someone and then they can never find the quote. It goes:
Drove to the edge of reality, the thin line that reads us all. The fate and well being. The karma that flows like the sands of time. I kicked a rock over the edge and watched it fall. Turned around and drove back to the insanity. And there I'll stay.
I actually based a poem off of this exact paragraph. I'm weird like that I guess?
Jake: My brother. He got back to me after sending him an email of a lot of my latest poetry. He really likes what I have written, I must be doing something right, and he thinks I should really continue the Jenna and Jimmy poems. Yeah... I'll get right on that, too bad a lot of that inspiration is gone now. It is nice to be appreciated though. I really don't share my poetry that much and I guess putting online is almost an outlet for that, even though no one knows about this blog.
