Fuck it, let's get drunk and go snowboarding.

My Fucked Up World of Existence

Pron: I like to call it pr0n, but that would be the l33t in me coming out. Where the fuck did mouth fucking start becoming popular? I never really like watching blowjob porn. But it was always out there. But now?? Now there is this concept where shoving your cock as far into a girl's throat is awesome. 1. Gagging sound plus squelch from saliva? Not hot. 2. Rape of the mouth is not cool by me. I think I'll stick with my primary of only women in porn and stay away from the things with guys in them.

Blowjobs: While I'm on the topic, I'm sure there is plenty of girls out there who pride themselves on sucking a mean dick. Some fatty who tries to stuff it down like her afternoon snack. Again, not so much. I'll take a little foreplay in the nether-regions. It feels good. I would definitely prefer a real blowie to a deepthroat. Yet I am stuck at the fact that I would rather wait until I could have sex.

Cracked: I've been reading this site lately and it is pretty funny. Very comparable to The Onion, or something to that nature. Where ever cracked came up with this article is beyond me. If anyone has ever read such things in a cosmo mag and thought it was a good idea to be rough on a guy in such manners has the wrong idea. I agree with cracked and while I can take a little firmness, rough is never what I want when testes are on the line.

One of my top rated albums: Jimmy Eat World - Bleed American.

Song of the Moment: What Sarah Said - Death Cab for Cutie.

Speaking of Music: I downloaded the latest Weezer album, Ratitude. I think I'll stick with Maladroit as my all-time favorite of theirs. Yes there are songs on each album I like, but Maladroit is in my opinion Weezer's best.

Something I have never been able to do: Become friends with an ex. I have had conversations with exes here and there, very infrequent, and it's just the catching up deal. I feel like I have barely changed since grade school so I feel like I don't outgrow people. When it comes down to it there are things that have an end. There is a reason for the end. There was a reason I was never friends with a girl before. I don't get it. I'm bad at it.

Something Interesting: Sister Christian - Coheed & Cambria.

Something I wrote in Yuma, Az on that op:
There are things I have done that I don't understand. Not necessarily bad things, just actions I don't understand. For example, why when I slept with Meghan that in the morning I would pull her into me. Pull her in to be my little spoon. It was never a conscience decision. Is this an action I have done before? Will I do it again?

More importantly though, why do I fake crying? Perhaps because I believed crying was a weakness. When I grew up and my dad was mad he would yell. Not that he is a terrible person, just his mood or how he was raised makes him act like that. I've seen my siblings cry, I've seen my mom cry, I've cried myself. I grew determined that I would not cry if i could prevent it. But why have I let that apply to situations outside of him? Is it ingrained in me that it is really that bad? Every time I feel that the emotion is there I have to force myself to cry. And that is not real crying. Maybe I am trying to portray a softer side to myself. It is something I don't understand. In fact, it kind of haunts me.

Fuck it, let's get drunk and go snowboarding.