Once a Marine Always a Marine

The Sergeant I have looked up to the longest passed me along with a quote, "Once a Marine, always a Marine.  So why reenlist?"  Funny as hell, but when you look into reasons people don't reenlist it comes down to some of the stupidest things the Marine Corps could fix.  I read this article, and while long it points out better than I could have ever written the ineffective use of Marines.  Myself, I could never reenlist because I fight tooth and nail for what I want from the military and I put forth more effort back into them.  At each rank I wear I am always told I would make a perfect... the next rank higher.  What do I do?  I listen to people, call people out on bullshit, propose better ways of doing things, and pass on as much knowledge I can to the people that will listen.  Yesterday I was told I should reenlist and become a schoolhouse instructor so that I could pass my knowledge of switching and routing down because the classes I was giving were so helpful and full of information.  Yet, I am the one who is not allowed to deploy and redesign networks in Afghanistan.  I am the one being held back from school and certificates.  Fuck that, I'm out.  You won't see me again after March 18, 2012.

For now, Evan and I are pushing forward with the comic.  I have my hands on Illustrator and Photoshop so now I can actually contribute some decent comics.

This past Saturday I had my friend's wife locked my car keys in her car so that I wouldn't be able to drink and drive.  She's in the right, but that doesn't stop my shenanigans.  Instead I almost broke a teevee, I did break an air-zooka, I killed a half a handle of rum, I taught people a new drinking game, I finished a half a case and the rest of the night hasn't been told to me.

Lately I've been burning the candle at both ends with work and my life away from the digital uniform.  5:30 every day for pt (which I don't participate in due to my shoulder surgery), getting of work at 7:30 (on Tuesday), 7:00 (on Wednesday) and finally at 4:30 (today).  I then proceed to stay up until at the very least 11, if not 2.  I think I made up for it two weeks ago when I slept for 17 hours on the weekend.

Nothing Ever Remains

There are some pretty good tributes to Michael out there.  Personally I'd rather hear the covers than him actually sing them, but to each his own.  Billie Jean - The Bates stands alone to be my favorite.  But I was just shown this Beat It cover by Fall Out Boy and John Mayer.  I think it's pretty good too.


Kelsey, Evan and my mutual friend, is in France right now, and every time she posts pictures on Facebook I am immediately envious.  I need to tour Europe.  That and play Pockey again.  Hells yeah.  Snowboarding brings around great drinking games.


Speaking of snowboarding, it looks like I won't be able to this winter unless I keep it really safe.  No jumps, no rails, no cliffs.  I gotta watch out for my shoulder.  Hell just this past Saturday I drank a half a handle of Captain Morgan and jumped some fences.  My shoulder hurt for 24 hours after that.


The comic is progressing forward.  I enjoy uploading each week.  Evan and I get lazy with it sometimes, but then out of nowhere we'll draw up four comics in a week.  It works.


Poetry isn't moving along quickly, it never has for me.  Sometimes the words need to be written down, sometimes they need to be vocalized and told to someone and can't take form in a written sense.  Either way, here's one that I finalized.

Nothing Ever Remains

I tried to follow you with my eyes closed.

Holding you as your arms wrap around

And watching as you spoke my name.

I opened my eyes with anticipation.

I gazed to where you had been standing.

But there was nothing of yours that remained.

The moments that were spent are lost.

The fire behind my eyes is spent.

The renewed hope and vigor is drained.

8/5/2010

Perfect from Far Away

Everything looks perfect from far away.  Come down now.


You may look at my life from a distance and see that it look good, that I have everything in order, but sometimes I feel this is not the case.  I do have some things working out right now, school and work and certs and shoulder recovery.  Yet I'm definitely lacking something, missing something.


I was told for the hundredth time last night that I don't show emotion.  I guess I don't see the reason to get worked up about things that seem fickle and that just create drama.  Then again I was probably getting into a relationship that didn't need to be gotten into.  All well, you lose some too.


I really want to rework this, but here's what I have so far:

Walk Away

Close your eyes so I can turn away.  I won’t glance back.  I’m too afraid.

The repercussions that drive us to that point where all I can do;

Is take the only option out, I have to walk away.

Close the door behind me and bolt it quickly shut;

One more separation to keep me walking away.

Forget me and all my nots.  Slowly fade those memories.

And please close the blinds after I stand by the drive way.

Because if I look back and see you watching me,

I just won’t walk.  I’ll stand there anyway.

8/24/2010

Deja Who?

My surgery went well, apparently.  It's now been just over a week and no major problems.  I'm supposed to wear some stupid brace, but I opt not to.  I'm also supposed to start physical therapy.  I'm definitely starting to get more motion out of my shoulder.  Although, that could be from other exercises not necessarily pertaining to physical therapy.  Here is a picture of what the surgeon did:

The pen mark is where I have a piece of bone missing resulting from dislocations.


Deja Vu happened to me twice this past week, and I don't think my surgery had anything to do with triggering it. Once was during a conversation with Amber about the strip club Cheetahs.  I'm blanking on the other occasion, but whatever.  I thought, like I do each time it happens, that it was peculiar.  Noteworthy I guess.


I got a few good lines down in my book of poems.  Hopefully I can develop those a little bit.  I'm sure I'll post like I usually do when I get something good.


Saw Coheed and Cambria on Saturday, FUCKING AWESOME show.

Life is less than or equal to Death

Everyone hates bad news.  Hearing that Chris Platz died was definitely bad news.  Everything that I had heard about him seemed so positive: he was figuring out his life, he was living for his son, he did well in school, he was doing something with the Navy.  Rest In Peace Chris.  Maybe you will still find what you were looking for.

How do you follow that up with anything else?  Inception, or as like to call it Contraception, was an outstanding fucking movie.  Seriously awesome.  I am huge about insight and the depths of the mind and what they did in that movie was awesome.  The whole bit where they never had a beginning to any situation was also sweet.  It just jumped right in every time.

I'm not much for reading dreams or what they mean, but I do like the fact that our subconscious can do so much more.  I believe it too.

Poem:  The first bit of this was written in May, but I was able to finish it today.

Impasse Jade

I’m alarmed my muse may have become a siren,

Beautiful inspiration leading me to rocky shores.
Tranquility in her violent temptation.

Jade’s soothing voice has me begging for more.

She has me red lining from third to fourth.

Adrenaline pumping, disrupting the law.

My normalcy is a maze lost in its source.

The muse captivating me through faux pas.

Driven to satisfy all of her wants and needs;

To quench the lust in all she desires.

I am longing to cream or bleed.

Forced to follow and never tire.

I’m alarmed that I am treading on glass

While Jade floats on just out of my reach.

The road has bent toward the scary pass.

My life is draining.  My muse is a leach.

7/18/2010

... Of the Day

Just thinking about it.  I believe you could get cut short on your massage therapy session if you informed them of your massive knot that needs to be rubbed out.  Then again, what if the masseuse did it?

If Only

Pretty monumental events during the end of June. This Communications Exercise is taking up way too much time and at this point I don’t even give a fuck about it. Seriously, the hassles I’m dealing with and the hoops I’m jumping through to get the people in my company what they want that they think they “need” is absurd. Then to top things off Ryan almost dies in a motorcycle accident and all I want to do is be at the hospital until he gets better. Good friends are hard to come by and Mac and Carlson are visiting at least every day. I wish I could be there. I haven’t even seen him conscience yet. Accident Saturday; I find out Saturday night; go to the hospital; stay there until midnight after I worked a 36 hour shift; sleep; go there Sunday; he goes into surgery; he comes out of surgery; we see him while he’s still under; we leave; I go back to the Comm-Ex; surgery Monday or Tuesday (I’m mixing days together); recovery Tuesday; He’s somewhat conscience and moving around a bit; and here I am still at the Comm-Ex doing just about nothing.



If only I could be out of the Marine Corps, do what I do at a job, and then I wouldn’t have restrictions that limit me from visiting my friends. If only.


iPhone 4 – I don’t care any more. Are you going to release e-mails to the world like the iPad did?


632 days left of Active Duty Service.