Although these words may be slightly synonomous follow me on their different conotations. I feel that I have this mindset where I am inspired, intrigued, facinated and curious about the most random things. Example: we were discussing monitors at work last week. The discussion revolved around resolution but dipped into 1080. Monitors are getting better than 1080, but there is still this 1080p vs 1080i question in my head. So I immediately began research on the difference between p and i. First reaction, “What are you doing?” response, “looking up the difference of 1080p and 1080i” “why, everyone knows p is better” response, “but why is p better. Why does everyone only know that aspect of the argument?” So I reseached it. P stands for progressive scan. All pixels are constantly updating with the proper image. I stands for interlaced. This is how old tube tv’s worked. First the odd lines flashed followed rapidly by the even lines (hence why if you videotape a screen you can see these scrolling lines. It’s too fast for the human eye). 1080 can be converted by the tv to 540 and it can handle it better. LCD never needs this interlaced and we could move onto progressive. And now I know.
For some reason this kind of thing is always happening to me. I end up researching something everyone knows about but that no one cares to really know the background to. Thank you for the useless knowledge I build. Miramar is hosting their annual airshow this weekend. Did you know that a barrel roll is a loop and what we know as a barrel roll is a aileron roll. Thank you Starfox for teaching children wrong.I was watching Angels and Demons today. I have read the book and that delve into the illuminati is really cool. In fact going into that old science of earth, air, fire and water is really inspirational to me. I even applaud questioning of America's past and even the consideration that Washington D.C. is a continuation of Rome.
No matter what religion you are I always think it is a good idea to provoke questioning and pushing the limits of ideas pressed upon you. I was raised Catholic and I have never stopped questioning the faults that Christianity has made. I have had a similar discussion with someone of Mormon faith and I would love to continue with other religions. We are past the age where the sun was pulled across the sky by a chariot. Let modern religion support scientific progression. Furthermore, the further you progress into science the more you see god in everything. NASA can trek to the depths of space, but it still is so never-ending. CERN can find smaller and smaller but that is too never-ending. The search for god and our purpose is never-ending. Simple.
Time to lay back and watch the sky, because that is one of my favorite things to do. Observe nature and it's awesomeness.
Mood: Tempid (Interesting, Tempid has a red line under it. Apparently blogspot doesn't recognize the variation of tepid in a fashion sense) (double note, blogspot has a red line under it too. Apparently blogspot doesn't recognize it's own name)
I want to post the lyrics I wrote for the Night Angel Trilogy. This is part 1.
The Way of Shadows
A world bound to turmoil and evil
Can only be kept by the best who can kill
Through trial and error the boy will learn
On this path he will be forced to be Stern
Crippled by pain, destroyed by the fear
Cursed by the knowing that he would appear
Swift through the night, the wetboy will run
The deader, the person, and the deed is done
Immortality's curse and judgment's blade
Cloaked in grays, a death to be paid
Life's cruel joke, his father must die
That he may live on, retribution at his side
As he walks through the night
He feels so alone
He's taken his father's life
He's now dead and gone
09/26/2009
Song of the Moment: Cage the Elephant - Ain't No Rest for the Wicked
Something I thought was really cool was a "about me" I put into my facebook and I have still not taken out. I like to have this impression where if someone reads it they think that I am quoting someone and then they can never find the quote. It goes:
Drove to the edge of reality, the thin line that reads us all. The fate and well being. The karma that flows like the sands of time. I kicked a rock over the edge and watched it fall. Turned around and drove back to the insanity. And there I'll stay.
I actually based a poem off of this exact paragraph. I'm weird like that I guess?
Jake: My brother. He got back to me after sending him an email of a lot of my latest poetry. He really likes what I have written, I must be doing something right, and he thinks I should really continue the Jenna and Jimmy poems. Yeah... I'll get right on that, too bad a lot of that inspiration is gone now. It is nice to be appreciated though. I really don't share my poetry that much and I guess putting online is almost an outlet for that, even though no one knows about this blog.
Masturbating... coming. Which ever. That point where you have complete and utter focus on yourself and all of the world's problems are non-existent. I don't care whether you are rubbing one out for stress relieve or because you have some person on your mind or you're having that careless fuck where you have no cares in the world. The point is that you are in zen, in nirvana, in teen spirit... I mean, you're not caring for anything else. There is something important about that point. It brings the world full-circle. The meaning of life becomes that much closer to understanding.
On the other hand, I don't know about you, but on the night where I relieve myself from stress with a self-quickie and the hope to fall asleep promptly, I often run into the restless sleep where I roll around and for some reason my hormones decide to act up and keep me ready, awake, and... well firm. So I toss and turn and try and focus on Rosie O'Donnell to calm my nerves and finally fall asleep. However, then you realize that you are trying to fall asleep to the image of Rosie O'Donnell and that just makes you more aware to the situation that she is the last on on your mind and that whole situation and how bad that is. That's when you toss and turn more. By that point you're, or I'm, not hard any more, but I can't fall asleep due to horror. So what's the solution at that point?
I may be drunk, but this whole post is what I thought of last night when I was contemplating this whole situation after Rosie O'Donnell. It needed to be said.
Maybe tonight the quickie will end in sleep instead of horror.
Want to excite and impress someone? Try another person. Life is Pandemonium.
Something to read: The Night Angel Trilogy by Brent Weeks. It was awesome. I think in a month I was able to get my hands on all three and read them. In respect, the band (see below) is working on a song. Guess who gets to work the lyrics, this guy.
I leave for Washington D.C. on Thursday. Anticipation is building, anxiety is present and of course my stupidity is there causing Meghan to be upset at me multiple nights in a row. She thinks my actions are my anxiousness, and I can only agree. I am bad at reading my own emotions sometimes. Now is one of them.
Something new I have been working on:
Run
Where do you run with their eyes upon you?
Among the fools, creeps and ghouls.
Soul searching in the dirty streets.
Where do you cry when no one is watching?
Alone in the dark, forgotten by all.
Tears streaming, lost in the corner.
Your screams wake the dead,
Haunt the derelicts of dawn.
Crawling through the blood
Of those fallen around you.
How can you laugh in the face of danger?
Steady with determination and confidence.
Leading all others with courage.
How can you crush anxiety and despair?
Inspiring love and instilling esteem.
Head held high, standing on the forefront.
08/30/2009
Hope you enjoy.
The Band: A group of guys from work, Jeff Dobbins (drummer), Daryl DesPault(guitarist), Tyler Elliott (guitarist) started a band, Fear of Knowing, and have been working to create a good metal sound. They asked that I play a little keyboard for them and I have indulged. The looks have a bassist on the way. The sound is pretty good.
Life can be pandemonium and today has me looking to the past to settle me. I took an hour break in the day to look at old photos. Times where I did stupider things and upset more girls. These must be super powers in my arsenal.
Do something cool, solve a rubix cube and every night leave it scrambled for the next day. Life is pandemonium.
I don't have much for the moment, but that seems to happen to me often. Regardless I'll post what I do have.
Hott: This may be the hottest sex scene in a movie (that I can recall). Is it just me or do the characters in this movie always have wet hair?
Poetry:
In That Moment
Determined to have you I would not stray
Like so many others who give up in trial.
Crushed dreams and broken heart could not deter
Me from the calling and belonging to you.
The ball and chain of my life is heavy
A burden, the loneliness, from which I yearn to be free.
Cradling your head in my lap is a dream,
A moment I long to achieve.
Simple thoughts trouble and confuse me.
Creative images I drift off to
Leave me alone in the morning,
Rolling over and clutching only air.
Desperation isn’t my best cologne.
Crying isn’t the smile you want to see.
Confidence is what I want to have.
To have and to hold is what I want.
To care and to love is what I need.
The girl that is you, to be with me.
08/08/2009
It probably needs a little revision. I feel that some parts of it don't make perfect sense or flow properly, but oh well.
Thought: If I were ever to be recorded having sex I wish it wouldn't be gross or pron like. I would prefer it to be more like Underworld.
Yep, that's it.
Duct tape is the fix it for it all, but if I wrap my life in duct tape I think I'd just be isolated that much more. Weird.
Stress: I think I have two stressed out modes
1. I flip out and can't handle anything and everything just seems to be going wrong.
2. I appear to be fine, but deep down I'm messed up. There is a lot on my plate and I can't handle it, but as far as anyone is concerned I'm fine.
The latter. I think that's me right now. Stressed out and no one knows. Not that that is a bad thing. I'm not sure I want people knowing, but that doesn't mean it isn't stressful. I guess that's why I'm mentioning it now. My brother's wedding is coming up and for the past few months I've been doing everything I could to save money. Then I had a couple of visits: Meghan, followed by Evan and Rob, and I may have spent too much. And for the past two weeks I've been playing the counting game (well it costs this much for this, I need to buy this, I need to pay for this and I'm only going to have this amount coming to me on the 15th). Fuck. I literally spaced out for a half hour at work on Friday and contemplated how I was going to be financially.
Funny things: Apparently I caught the sun really well with my chevrons on my uniform on Friday and a kid I know saluted me because he thought I was an officer. Ha. We both got a good laugh as soon as he got closer and recognized me.
Hope: This fall is exciting. First, Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2. Second, Assassin's Creed II. As for Halo. I think I'm done. Maybe Reach, but as for ODST... umm, I pass. It looks too much like a game for a thirteen year old. Perhaps all the Halos looked like that. Regardless, I'm not thirteen anymore. Third, Splinter Cell. I've been wanting to play another Splinter Cell for a long time. I really hope you can be as stealth as before. If this comes out... I may need to buy a steering wheel and foot pedal set.
Lookout Now: Call of Duty clan. Bryan McAdams, Ryan Miller, Rob Keith, Evan Feringa, some more names here, and I are working up our DEAD clan. I'm hoping we can start playing some gamebattles games soon.
Writing: My last bits of writing have seriously been a four liner and a two liner. The two liner I think I have more, yeah, but it isn't written. I fail.
That's all for now. Don't make a left at Albuquerque unless you are heading West and want to go south.
Two for now. First one was drawn after watching Clerks II and during the Red Wings game. Second one was drawn just now.
That's all I really have for right now. I'm sick and tired and this week has just been wearing me out. Oh yeah, and my Xbox decided that it didn't love me anymore and decided to red ring. Dealing with that currently.
For some reason this kind of thing is always happening to me. I end up researching something everyone knows about but that no one cares to really know the background to. Thank you for the useless knowledge I build. Miramar is hosting their annual airshow this weekend. Did you know that a barrel roll is a loop and what we know as a barrel roll is a aileron roll. Thank you Starfox for teaching children wrong.
